Thursday, March 31, 2005
Omg...1 more paper to go n that's the end of academic torture. (at least for tis sem!) Tml's physio..my god, y i still feel quite panicky. Cos i din take bio in sec sch mar? Rubbish..haha. Its 6.16pm now, 15hrs to exams. Why dun feel loaded wif info!! Sicko. Yest chem was mentally tiring, ha, so din touch my books n all for physio. Till now, i onli flipped 2 chapz, wad the...
okok...by 7pm muz start somemore browsing again..need to get my brain to work work work! Cant slp v late too...cos tml 9am paper..tink i'll reach sch at..8? haha..
Aft sch meeting fren at mac den after duno meeting another fren anot..haha...actuali dun really anticipate meeting tis fren at mac, cos i enjoy e meal..but her passion to spread gospel these days is getting on my nerves again..ha..she nv did pressure me tho', she noes tt if she starts, i'll run. haha. But yeah, its becoming a habit i guess. They will relate ALOT to their saviour i guess. Altho' i dun lyk e idea of tt cos i tink tt we shld all choose a religion by faith, not by being pulled into it. I muz say i m so glad tt tis fren of mine has made her choice to get herself to believe in christianity. It has changed her a darn lot for e better. In e past, always been e wild 1. Now, still as daring since her past made her tis way alr, haha, but wild wif a sense of maturity n responsibilty now. ha. Hence, altho' i m not a believer in her religion, i'm glad tt she changed for e better. So, if a religion can mould any1 to be sum1 righteous n good-natured, i dun see wad's wrong lar...just dun start preaching to me, cos i dun take it. i believe wad i wanna believe. hek hek.
Anyway, i've got so much to do wif so little time tis wk!!! Need to go get my stuffs and prepare for e M'sia trip. Oh, for those who's nt aware, i m goin for a M'sia culture trip wif the drama pple tis following mon from 4/4 to 7/4. Sounds gr8? Nah, gonna be performing plays for all 3 days i tink. Diaoz. Den i wun getta go VCH on 4/4 for e rehearsal...dammit. Boy, tink i m really into my guitar man. Gotta reach by 6.45am on mon lor...diaoz....nvm. Its a task n i will do it. Ha. Oh still need to contact quite a number of pple cos i've been really busy wif stuffs so i've told dem to wait. haha...gonna contact dem 1 by 1 aft exams...n aft the M'sia trip...and eh...after virtuoso XII...haha... Cant stand it, goin of to M'sia for 4 days, and virtuoso by den will b lyk 3 days away. Argh...! that means when i return i onli hav lyk 2 days to practise be4 performance! ARh..y cant it be in sg...feel lyk lugging guitar and scores there man...i muz b mad..ha..its ok..tink will spend tml, sat and sun practise lyk mad at hm...that is, if i m not out. which i tink is quite hard to stay hm for 3 days lor.
wad plans do U all haf after e exams? Any outings to call on me? I v free de! *hints* haha.. joking joking.. was supposed to play mahjong overnite tis sat and sun, but judgin by my limited time to practise guitar, hmm...duno shld forgo it anot..haha... but tinks i sure try to do in e hols is to play mahjong, get some frenz to hang out n meditate wif my guitar at hm..oh yar..if not rite, den i will jus be a loner n stay hm. haha..
Hai...suddenly feel so energetic toking abt things to do after exams...but now when my mind jus return to today, and physio...my mood totally fluctuate...darn. ok den, let those things moltivate me baz, i try start work again le...haha...hm...maybe i shall take a trip to the loo 1st...den read 8 days 1st den start...argh......! No...diaoz...ok, go to the loo den sit down properly and read thru'...
-Sh*t-
"My shadow's the only one that walks beside me...My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating...Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me...'Til then I walk alone"- Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day
6:13 PM
Sunday, March 27, 2005
HELLO pple, tue's e BIG day wor...n i've got no confidence at all. Till nw, i can say i haven get OBC in my head..n physio is lyk..woo...forgot all le..haiz...jus feel so f-ed up. Duno y.
Did a lil of CB today..den realized if i din touch OBC or Physio later...at least abit, i wun haf time to revise all le...haiz...how..and i m feelin slpy..
its 9.20pm. hafta start by 10pm...haha...make sure i do it. yest ard 12+ was still online den 1 fren saw me n chat up wif me, and tot my exams were over alr, cos tp's exams over le. I told her tue start and she ask, "na me you xing xin arh?" (so confident arh?) I replied,"mei shi jian le." (no time alr) -_-lll hahah...den she start to yell n nag and say recently ask me abt work den my reply always lyk tt, but nv go take action..hahaha...whoopz. Nvm...haha...
We will c how tml. C if i'll freak huh..haha...if can get some work done by tonite den it shall end well..hahhah.... i tink i will post tis up 1st...haha..recently got a bad habit, blog 1/2 way den dun feel lyk bloggin le..haha...-_-ll..ciao.
*reason=U*
8:34 PM
Saturday, March 26, 2005
heyz, back. Aft 2 days. Not much completed still. Ha. Feel lyk studyin, den when flip to e pages, den sian DIAO alr. haha...whoopz, wad's happening? Tis kinda cow arh, really hard to discipline, deserve to get butt kicked..haha..
after being persuaded by a fren to go for her church production, i relented n went tis aftnn. Said she had sth to pass 2 me too. Ha. Met her at 2+ and watched the production, its v well done actually. haha. props, music, acting all can say quite gd! Haha, din expect such quality 1. haha. Oh n she gav me a pink bone cushy..for no reason...haha..*hugz* oh n bought 2 virtuoso XII tix! haha..so jus reached hm n ate dinner. so, u c, a fruitless day cos nv study again today but gonna do so later if i can. haha.
anyway, its weird...issit the weather or jus stress? So many pple seem to b fallin apart. torn from decisions, mixed with emotions, annoyed wif pple, confused wif life. i c pple ard me suddenly hav urge to find gf/bf...its funny that they jus crave for it so much tt i find tt sometimes their actions r kinda despo. haha. Hw r u gonna rush these things man? Take it easy...u r gonna find it somewhere somehow. Shun qi zi ran lor. Of cuz when u c ur chance passing by, dun lose it if u wan it, but dun try too hard, it turns pple off...haha...and pple ard u will jus get irritated cos u can jus go on n on abt u n ur targets yeah? haha.
and no doubt, i m always confused wif my life de somehow lar...in different points of my life. hah..jus when tinks seems clearer, a hard knock by a rock makes my vision blur again...haha..v pei fu wif pple who can list wad they wanna achieve and do it sia... they seem to be able to manipulate their life, lyk they can predict wad's up next for dem. haha..whoa. last time, i haf BIG dreams of wanting to b in e top league...or a surgeon..or even an engineer lyk my dad!(Gosh!) Den when rock struck, i start to hold MEDIUM dreams...haha...of jus wanting to be in a be a normal doc...haha...Den another rock struck, and now i m left wif my SMALL dreams...haha...of scoring WELL..enuff to further studies n get a job in e science field...and wadelse, play my guitar well. haha...we all haf diff. defination of success to us lar...so...yeah..haha..*glancing at my stated SMALL dreamz above*..tink i m starting to set ACHEIVEABLE dreamz..haha...zhen mei zhi qi. hahaha...
Tink i m getting quite loner le...haha..naz evolution...haha...i can jus spend my time, playing my guitar in 1 small corner of my room and not having e urge to go out. haha...city buzz and i jus wan time to me n my guitar. Sorri if i AP some of u all, tink i've caught the laggin bus n need some space for my vacuum brain. haha...*left it too long in e toilet* haha.
-End-
[FoR U]: Evocation of emotions tt arose..haha..ya make my heart sink n float...my words aren't coming out as smooth as i want it to be but i can tell ya its been different since u're here. Tried taking tinks in own hands..tried making life easier for ya but guess i was wrong yeah? Hope u've gt an idea of nw since tis aftnn yeah..guess its jus low self-esteem tt's been overwhelming me. Its nothin too ashame to admit to ya but i m a cow wif low confidence..haha..despite my doubts my hope still dances becuz of...u..Muackz!
8:18 PM
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
y m i even here? not sure y i'm here bloggin but i jus feel lyk typing.
tis finals, i m not prepared. need to run to catch up. but i cant activate my darn brain. paiseh arh shifu, i cldn't help but touched my guitar again. ha. its lyk my destressin tool now yeh?
CB, OBC n physio seems new to me all of a sudden. Feel lyk throwin away my shoes n withdrawing frm e race le. Need to hang on..for wad? 5 days left to train up for e race, need to get in line by den. wish me luck.
Dun worry 'bout it. i'll c abt it. Its a momentarily torture. Guess e outcome, anyone?
Ha. Endin here. Gonna face e books sooner or later.
*i LOVE my current state*
5:17 PM
Thursday, March 17, 2005
I can say this aloud. I've got NO school 2day! wahaha. Finally aft the past 14wks or so of silly IS classes, i m done wif CATS and WAA. Whew! haha. Cant stand those classes, simply a waste of my time.
i goin to slack off my WHOLE day. Will enjoy my last 2 days of pure slackness be4 i pull myself away from my comp tt often and get down to work. haha. Haven map out a study plan but will do so maybe tml. (tho' i might nt follow it, its a moltivation. lol)
oh, yest had cell bio pract final n i was blind enuff to screw tings up for myself. Was quite happy wif my paper actuali, den a few min be4 we hand in, i suddenly realised tt i drew e wrong cell. be4 test, 'cher said,"do draw e white blood cell tt u c, NOT the red". What toopid me did --> drew a RED blood cell HAPPILY. -_-lll so 5/60m gone. diaoz. haha...lame rite? Say nv hear also cant, say i deaf also cant, jus say i m silly. haha...
anyway, after tt went to look for ITA 'cher. Said he cant open my pro file. Den go until there..we waited wif some strangers for 'chers to come out, den aft den we all realised we all waiting for tis 'cher. wah liew..so big shot sia..hah..den aft i told him i alr burnt my work into cd-r wif tiff's work dat i added in and aft den he realized tt my work was inside. Just becos we attached a note before it and he didn't c my name behind. Lamer. haha
next, we went to do ITP powerpt. so wu liao. still must present. did for abt 1/2hr to 1hr..added our last bbq outing foto as bg and we cropped tt pain in e ass away! hahah...cropped mickey mouse away! lolx. tiff tot me n jess joking.haha. Den next thing she noe, he's not in the pic..lolx. Den we drew lotsa nonsense. haha..onli tis part, is fun. =) Nu er de baz was all e while wif us, cos he waiting for me write the Virtuoso emcee script tt we delayed for wks..haha..start off wif a few sentences den left it stagnant till yest. Do until wanna pengz. haha..quite mafan. haha...But we managed to luff out heads off cos we pretended tt we 2 r e emcees so we added lotsa lame and funny stuffs to it. Poor emcees, becos u haf us as ur script writers, u haf no choice but to follow wad we say, and it means saying e script in e tone we want n doin all the actions we said. lolx. bad luck dudes. *grinz*
Was so glad we finally finished it by 2pm..haha..finally ITP, ITA n tis script off my mind. =) *shakes mich's hand* oh yar, thx to tiffy too cos she waited for me while we did e scripts for 2hrs or so. *hugz* haha.
think i can sense e jc pple ard me frettin le. Every1's busy registerin for uni courses. Some simply jus hafta trouble over wad courses they WANT, some got so vexed over wad courses they CAN do tt they MIGHT haf an interest in since options haf been reduced. i guess every1 of us haf an ambition to make it big, to be successful. but wad we see is tt not every1 can make it. We always view tinks from e surface. Some pple seem to put in less effort in their work, and yet they scored. Some bia lyk crazy, onli to haf poor returns. but wad who noes how much effort each individual is really puttin in? Things may not b wad we expect them to b. i noe of frenz, who realli chiong lyk mad n finally reaped wad they shld gain. Then again, some r pure geniuses. They jus seem to haf lyk an extremely functional brain n they can jus throw u e right ans anyhow u ask it n score As as easy as ABC. Nevertheless, we dun hafta compare wif pure geniuses nor pple worst of than us. Each of us start from e same starting pt, but we dun take e same paths. We jus hafta accept wad's in for us and make the best we can outta it. We all hafta feel inferior of ourselves, we will eventually get to nothin becos we r too sorry for ourselves i tink..keke.
Anywayz, i tink i will end here 1st. suddenly no bloggin mood le. duno why. hahahz...Goin to watch huang cheng ye yun later by hcjc at VT! haha..yeah!
REMINDER: go watch Virtuoso XII on 10th April (Sun) tix at $10 each! haha...will b a gr8 performance..haha...hope to cya all there! wan tix get from me! =)
9:55 AM
Monday, March 14, 2005
morning pple. no new entries for past 3wks. guess i totally made u all sian diao le. Hek. Was so darn busy. Had performances and pros and now goin to b exams...=S I totally hate ITP anyway. grr. Stupid programming. Not gonna use it anyway, silly darn module tt i haf to take for CORE. Siaoz. HahA. Pray tt i pass it, if not i gonna curse it under my breathe if i hafta retake it. hahaha. Not gonna brood over it. Dun worry. ;)
Exams in 2wks time. Hmm. Shld start to move my butt somewhere near my study area soon. Haha. Slacker mode now. wahaha. Every1 cant stand me. All say i v slack now. but wad to do?(wif e pple ard me equally slack too...wahah...i nv imply anything arh..dun bash me) haha.
Woah. Time seems to be speeding up now. Everytink's moving along at a v pace n lotsa unexpected happened. haha. Hmm...shan't say more.
Made daddy happy yest. WHole time ask me pei him go expo buy his sport shoes. Finally after buggin me for the umpteenth time, i agreed. and he chiong me n mama down to get it. -_-lll
Anyway, tis is it. Gonna head for sch. type more when i haf time to crapz. =)
8:45 AM
